Why I worry that I’m boring

Do you ever get that? Worrying that you’re boring and that everyone else thinks that too? I do sometimes.

So why do I think I’m boring?

Because I like lists, I like structure and being organised. I like peace and quiet, I like reading and writing. I’m a classic introverted personality – enjoying time to myself and not liking being surrounded by people all the time.

I generally prefer listening to talking, and I often observe rather than take part. I don’t express controversial opinions, and I don’t like being the centre of attention if the attention is too personal. If a party or social occasion isn’t holding my interest, I want to leave.

And I don’t think those things are generally features of people who are the life and soul of a party, which is why I think I’m a bit dull and not much fun.

When I was 15 or 16, whatever the age is when you’re choosing your A Level subjects, my GCSE English teacher said to me something along the lines of “oh Nina, please don’t do chemistry and biology, you’ll turn into a boring scientist. Do English instead!” Looking back, I think what she meant was that she was worried I’d lose my creativity if I did science. But unfortunately the message that stuck in my head was that I’d be boring if I did science.

So I did my science A Levels, and my chemistry degree, and rather than striving to keep up my creativity at the same time, I just focused on “not being a boring scientist” instead. (Which generally involved student parties and going to see lots of live bands.)

Skydive New ZealandBut I can’t really be boring, can I, if I’m fascinated by lots of stuff?

I love variety and learning new things – and I think working as a freelancer/contractor or for agencies/consultancies suits me, because I get to find out about different companies, different clients, different products and different environments. And likewise if you get me on the right topics and in the right surroundings, you’ll see a different side to me. I enjoy meeting new people, exploring new places and trying out new things.

So perhaps I’m not that boring after all – I just worry that when I’m sitting quietly working, or if I refuse invitations, or if I’m watching other people have fun and not joining in, people think I am boring. But actually I admire and am fascinated by people who are all that I’m not. And I love to spend time with fun and crazy people – but in small doses!

And I just have fun in my own unique way. Which is quietly (most of the time…….)

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