I’m stuck. I had grand plans to do much more blogging while I had time before the new arrival. But it seems that everything I start writing about just doesn’t work, so I’ve got quite a few half finished posts lurking around.
I don’t know what it is that stopping me.
Could it be lack of purpose?
This blog has gone through many different incarnations in the last 5 years, reflecting my changing plans and circumstances.
I started off thinking of it as a place to showcase my writing, considering a freelance writing career. I’ve never really pursued that idea any further, although I have continued doing a fair bit of writing both here and elsewhere.
I’ve used it as a place to share experiences of freelancing, when I did that for 18 months and among other things worked with owners of micro businesses and local businesses.
It enjoyed a revitalisation for Come Blog With Me in 2015, which helped me occupy time while recuperating after some surgery. And then when I took a job later that year, this blog was put to one side, in favour of quicker creative outlets such as photo challenges and writing creative snippets.
I feel like there is still stuff I want to write about, although I’m not quite sure what direction it should take now or why I’m doing it. Some of it may be better as an ebook rather than on a blog, and that’s another avenue I’m considering but not getting very far with.
I have too many topics I’m interested in, I know that.
I like thinking about life, the universe and everything – pondering on personality types and why we do things in certain ways, thinking about self-development and self-employed life. I enjoy travel, getting out and about locally, gazing at penguins, watching wildlife and soaking up details of nature. I also admire creativity in others and enjoy trying to ensure I have some creative outlet.
I’d love to do more with my photography, if only I had time. I have volunteered for local organisations and events over many years, and like highlighting the benefits of volunteering to others, as well as showcasing charities and events I’m interested in. I’ve never branched out into reviews of books or live music events, but go through phases of reading and gig going.
If I had one blog per interest I’d have lots of rarely updated blogs. I’m what’s known as a scanner – someone with lots of interests who needs variety and new things to keep interested. (For more on scanners, check out this book by Barbara Sher). It makes focusing exclusively on one topic hard!
Could it be that it’s just not the right time?
I’m in a weird place right now. A week away from having a baby (unless anything happens before the planned c-section). From my ante natal class of 11, there are only 4 of us left to have our babies, so some people are now getting on with being mothers.
I’ve finished work for maternity leave, and that’s odd, having worked very hard and been very busy since starting the job 2 years ago. Things seem a bit empty without contact with the people I spent most days with, and the projects, proposals or tasks that needed progressing.
I’ve caught up on my important admin, bought the immediate stuff we need, and have been seeing friends and family for cups of tea during everyone else’s office hours, which has been nice!
I do love writing, but perhaps my head is not there. Maybe I should resist the temptation to keep busy through blogging, and just enjoy the silence, the relaxation, the conversations and the contemplation. Without feeling the need to share any learnings or set goals.
Maybe I should just be. Enjoy the pause.
And revisit my blog again when I feel inspired to, defining a new purpose and a new set of topics when I do so.